40 Year Old Body

I started running late in life...I was probably just over 30 when I started running distances longer than sprints on the basketball court.   When I got started, I loved running, the alone time - just me and my thoughts, the thrill of accomplishment, the way my body felt after completing a looooong run.   I had completed several half marathons on treadmills all over the world but completed my first “official” half marathon in March 2013 in Washington, D.C.

Fast forward 4 1/2 years and I’m officially “over the hill”.   It’s been a good long while since I’ve run any distance let alone a 10k but I decided to sign up for one in Abu Dhabi in mid-November.     The weather should be beautiful but the timing couldn’t be worse. .  Even a 10k requires training, granted not a lot, but if I want to walk normal the next day (which I don't just want to, I NEED to), I need to train.  

So last week I began my training.  3 miles, not too bad, but I got this pain behind my knees.    Can any of my runner friends tell me what pain behind the knees is supposed to mean?  I stretched and stretched some more.  I did a few short runs then decided on an hour run (since honestly, that’s as long as the treadmill will run before I have to restart) so I could test my endurance level.

Once I started I knew I wasn’t going to make an hour.  Read that last sentence again.   What?    I knew before mile 1 I wasn’t going to get much further?   Friends, I have no idea who invaded my body, or more accurately my brain, but it was not someone I recognized.   I am not one to give up on anyone or anything.   I ain’t doing it, yet I could feel myself willing failure.  Read that again- willing failure.   Stop right now and think of something you are willing failure about.    Do you even recognize yourself or these thoughts of insecurity?

Monday morning was a short run, 3 miles and I had to convince myself the whole time, c’mon, you can do anything for 10 mins, or 8 mins, or you can make it to that light.  What happens at 40 that your body now says “ um....I don’t think so”?

I had so many thoughts going through my head during the big run late last week and the shorter run today (note: I don’t run with music, I like to be alone in my thoughts, just me and God).   Well, that’s all good and dandy but lately my thoughts have been everywhere but focused on my training, so it’s been tricky.  

But guess what?   I finished what I set out to do on all my runs, since I started training, I completed my goal, I didn’t give up and I didn’t compromise my integrity.    No one was watching, no one was pacing me, it was just me believing in myself and not accepting “failure”.  I kept repeating that bible verse in Philippians 4 - “I can do all thing through Christ who gives me strength”.

It’s not my strength nor your strength that is required so that you can do all things- it’s the Lord’s! Do you believe that today? Let Him carry the burden. If you try to do it on your own you will surely fail, maybe not right away, but you will.   Trust Him with ALL your heart, not just a little bit.   Lean not on your own understanding because His ways are not our ways and His thoughts are not even close to our thoughts.   In ALL your ways acknowledge Him, and He will direct your path.

Promises...such sweet promises!    Lean on these promises today.   He hasn’t failed you and me yet and He is not gonna start today!    He’s going to take the ashes and make something oh so beautiful, something so unrecognizable, the only explanation is going to be God.

I don’t know if my running days are coming to an end or I need to persevere through this season in life - I’ll keep the blog world posted after a few more weeks.  Whatever my lot, it is well...with...my soul.

Dare You To Believe

There is so much going on in the world
Can we see through all the chaos
The destruction
The decisiveness
The pain and hurt
The desperate cries for help

Can we see past our own grief
Our own struggles
Our own unbelief

Are we so tunnel visioned
That we miss the person on our right
And on our left
The one we call brother
The one we call friend

Are we relying on our own strength
Are we seeking our answers from
Our church
Our government leaders
Our best friends
Or our respected colleagues

Friends, God has a word for you

NOTHING is impossible

Let me say that again:

N-O-T-H-I-N-G

Not physical healing, not mental healing
Not a job offer, not a roof over your head
Not a functional car, not a hearty meal in your tummy
Not the best medical professional out there who takes your insurance
Not returning a lost puppy or cat
Not an incurable disease
Not a score for your child’s first soccer game

N-O-T-H-I-N-G, absolutely nothing is impossible with God,

He hung the moon and stars, He created the heavens and the earth
He parted the Red Sea, and multiplied the loaves and fishes to feed over 5,000
He raised people from the dead and He gave sight to the blind

What are you not trusting Jesus for?
What miracle are you waiting on?

Nothing is impossible!

WHEN YOU LEAST EXPECT IT

SURPRISE

I'm not one for surprises...not too much anyway!   In fact, they used to drive me absolutely insane though.

 I remember when I was 15, my mother tried to plan a surprise birthday party for me.  My mom and  friend Christin were organizing a surprise party at the same time my mom was letting me plan my own party.  My mother had no idea my idea of inviting people to my party was putting together a flyer and inviting everyone in our youth group (100+ high school students).  I had no idea the value of a dollar at the time either as my parents were planning a BBQ.  Needless to say that surprise was ruined because my mom couldn't go back and tell everyone I had "invited" that the party would be the day before and so our house was packed to the brim with students that wanted free food and I that day ended up being memorable in it's own right just a few days later.

You've heard of folks in the 🌟bucks drive-thru line pay for the coffee of the person behind them.  Or the person who pays for the dinner of a family in a restaurant who has had a screaming child the entire meal and everyone in the restaurant has cursed them under their breath.  

Many moons ago there was a movie called "Pay it Forward" with Helen Hunt.  Great movie, download it if you haven't seen it.  Random acts of kindness that created a domino effect and changed a whole lot of people.   We have got to get the focus off ourselves and get the focus back on people.

People are the most important beings we will encounter in this life.  How we treat them, how we love them (or not), how/if  we show them we care reflects our relationship with Christ to them. How can we call ourselves Christians and hate people?  I have a saying that I'm sure lots of people are sick of hearing:  "Love all!   You don't have to necessarily like them but you gotta love them!"

Love them?  you may be thinking.  No way!  You want me to love them? You don't know how they wronged me.  You don't know what they said about me behind my back.  You don't know how they did...to me.

STOP!  

Go back and re-read those statements.  Each one of them had ME in it.  NEWS FLASH:   Life is not all about you!  (GASP)  Here, sit down, I'm about to get a little real.   Life is about relationships. Most often the ones you have, but sometimes the ones you've lost.  

I want you to grab a piece of paper and pen.  Yes, right now...a paper and pen (or crayon, or marker or whatever you can write with) Think of your most successful relationship.  On one side of the paper I want you to write down what makes that relationship successful.  What makes it work? On the other side of the paper, I want you to think about the relationships you've lost and write down what's made them fail.   Why didn't they work?  No really, I want you to write them down.  Because I want you to be able to visually see what  those relationships look like side by side.

What's the resounding theme?  What makes the two sides similar and what makes them different (if there are differences)  As yourself:  Is it all about ME?  Be perfectly honest with yourself,  no one else is watching.  Is it all about you?   Think about what you are seeing.  What are you realizing about your relationships?  Is there anything you want to change?

Jesus didn't come to earth, suffer and die and be separated from His Father because he liked the limelight, attention and fanfare.   He came so that when we pass from this life into heaven's glory we can spend eternity in heaven.   Jesus sacrificed his life, his perfect, sinless life.   He spilt his blood so that you could be set free.   He put you and me above what was comfortable and perfect and he choose, choose to lay down his life for you and for me.

I've known a few people who have actually given their life for a friend and several who have given their life for a colleague(s).  And even a few others who have given their life for complete strangers. The Bible says "By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another." Are you struggling with loving someone who has done you wrong?   Are you struggling with forgiveness and mercy?   Jesus knew you would say ugly things about Him, He knew you'd talk behind his back, He knew you would take his name in vain - yet he still died for you!  I implore you, dear friends, won't you extend mercy today?   They might see the love and compassion that you are extended and realize that whatever you have, they want.  You might just be the only Jesus they ever see.

Friends Through Thick and Thin

Last year my parents and I had the pleasure of touring through Israel with  Pastor Jeremiah from Turning Point Ministries and Shadow Mountain Community Church.  Along with Pastor Jeremiah was Charles Billingsly (one of the best worship pastors I know) and  Michael W. Smith, who needs no introduction.  

Many moons ago on a planet far, far away, Michael W. Smith wrote a song....yup, that one...that we sang at the end of every church Summer and Winter camp and every time someone moved away.

Friends are friends forever, if the Lords the Lord of them and a friend will not say never cause the welcome will not end.  Though it's hard to let you go, in the Fathers hands we know that a lifetime's not too long, to live as friends.

I sat on the shores of the sea of Galilee and MWS (as his friends like to call him) sang this incredible song.   My sweet Xandy (13 yrs old) was sitting next to me singing away.   30 years later, the kids still know this song.   Why?   It's such a simple song.  They remember it not because of the catchy melody and cool key changes, they remember it for the message.

Friends are friends forever if the Lords the Lord of them:   Pray for your friends!   Be the hands and feet of Jesus! I believe my life-long friends are forever because of the daily prayers that are offered between us. We've been through thick and thin, good times and bad, sickness and health, sorrow and joy but our Heavenly Father  has been with us, through it all.

A friend will not say never because the welcome will not end:  true friends don't say next week, next weekend, next month.   A forever friend says sure, come on over or sure I'll accept those collect call charges from Los Colinas prison (jk, kinda).  I know you've worked another 14-16 hr day and all you want to do is climb into a warm bath....but remember walking in their shoes and how badly you wanted someone to welcome you in and tell you everything is going to be all right.  Don't let your welcome end.

Though it's hard to let you go in the Fathers hands we know that a lifetimes not too long to live as friends:   I've lost some amazing friends on this journey called life.   Some to illness, some to senseless acts of violence, some to war and some to silly/pettiness.  The friends that have passed from this life to heavens glory I'll see again soon!    As hard as it is to let go...I've learned to let them go into the Fathers hands and that I'll see them again on the other side of heaven.   And oh what a day that will be!    But for the ones I've lost that are still on earth, I'm reminded...a lifetimes not too long.   A lifetimes not too long folks!   Why are you worrying over a misspoken word, an opinion that might could have been kept to ones self? A missed lunch date one too many times, or a geographical move that put time and distance between you two.

Friends- a lifetimes not too long to live as friends!   In fact, a lifetime is too short a time.

So mend that broken friendship, forgive that silly mistake and start enjoying your lifetime again.

The last two trips home I've been able to spend a good amount of time with the friends closest to me! Moments in time I wouldn't trade.   Some of those friends I hadn't seen in over 10 years but the Lords the lord of us and the welcome has never ended, nor will it ever.  These are the friends who know me inside and out, backwards and forwards, upside down and right side up-yet love me unconditionally!

Is there someone today you need to reach out to and mend the relationship with?  Is the someone that wronged you but you realize a lifetimes too short so you're going to let bygones be bygones?   Do it today!    We're not promised tomorrow!    Live with no regrets!

MSW-who knew when you wrote that song in 1987 that 30 years later a) you'd still be singing it b) the kids would still be singing it c) it would still be inpmpacting lives?

I FAILED

Can I get a do over of today?

Can I wake up and start a Tuesday, 5 September again?

I'm usually one who takes a day as it comes and embraces the good and the bad, the tears and the laughter, but today...I failed.

Quite frankly I feel like I've  been slowly moving in that direction but today felt like I failed at everything.  

I promised someone I would do something by the end of the day but I ran out of time, and that email never got sent before the office went home for the day so there are still three cars sitting in the parking lot that shouldn't be.   I failed as a co-worker. 

I promised myself I would have more patience with a particular person but after a 3 hour video conference call where nothing was resolved and I ended up more discouraged than when I started...my last thread of patience was severed.  I failed as a colleague. 

Life is throwing some serious punches at people I love dearly but I was tired and frustrated and while I listened, I couldn't offer Godly counsel or sound advice because I was negotiating with God on how to fix the situation, not on my knees on behalf of my loved ones, praying for God to intercede.  I failed as a family member.  

A dear friend called me to chat about life and I unloaded on him about the woes of my day.  He sat and listened very intently and even offered some sweet encouragement and all I could muster in return was "So, how are you?"    When I sensed his heart was heavy with issues of his own I didn't prod a little deeper to try to see what need He had, I was too self-absorbed.   I failed as a friend.  

As I was driving home at 1030 at night from work, God laid a particular burden for someone on my heart and I sensed He wanted me to ask that person a very pointed question about their future.   I wrestled with God -frustrated- asking Him how/why He would lay such a tremendous burden on my heart for someone else when I needed/longed for similar direction in my life?  Who was I to encourage someone to really seek Gods will about a particular area of their life, when I needed it just as much if not more than they did?

I was almost immediately humbled by a still small voice in my heart that asked "Have you sought me? Have you longed after me? Have you asked me to guide you? Or have you been attempting to doing life on your own?"

Whoa!   Excuse me? I pray everyday. I have dialogue with my Father continuously, what is this still small voice about?   It can't judge me.   

Oh, but it can, and it does, and it will. I'm thankful for that still small voice tonight.  It brought life into perspective for me again.   Life isn't roses and gumdrops, flowers and rainbows.  There are going to be seasons of rain and mint lifesaver candies; seasons of cleansing and renewal which maybe uncomfortable and uneasy.   But don't give up.   

I remember saying to this dear friend yesterday, "I'm done!"   What?   I'm not a quitter, I don't give up easily but darkness tried to hide my light and I just about threw in the towel.   I know there is deep darkness just before the dawn breaks but today felt like dawn would never come. 

Guess what friends?  As I am writing these last few paragraphs, the dawn is breaking, literally, on Wednesday, 6 September 2017.  A new day is beginning and His mercies are new again.  

I don't get to do 5 September 2017 again but I get to start fresh and new again today with a completely clean slate and I can be the best version of who God made me to be.  It doesn't mean I won't come up short again, after all - I am human (I know, NEWS FLASH) but I will chose to approach my shortcomings differently and with renewed vigor to do better.  

Tip of the day:   Don't miss your workout, don't skip a meal, dont forget your quiet time with Jesus and don't forget to love on someone - these are key ingredients we all need to survive.   Energy comes from these sources and if you aren't fueling your mind, body and soul, it's going to hard to be a blessing to others.   Just sayin!

Routine

It was 2015 and I was at a routine doctor's appointment preparing to move overseas for two years.  We're supposed to get the all clear from our family doctor as well as a work doctor before moving away from first rate quality healthcare.  It was after work one night, about 6pm, just me the doctor and the nurse in a well known doctor's office.  I had no reason to suspect I might not get a good report.   I've been healthy my whole life.   Never broken a bone, never taken an antibiotic, never even been hospitalized. This appointment was just a formality. or so I thought.

A little ways into the appointment the doctor began asking me questions. I'm used to questions during my exams because I have lived overseas on and off for the past 14 years and they are always fascinated to hear of the different places I have been/lived and curious if I've ever gotten an exotic diseasem but this line of questioning seemed different.   A little further into the exam I heard the word biopsy    Um, excuse me, I know I wasn't listening before but I am now.   Why do you need to do a biopsy?  I'm confused.  I'm not gonna lie to you...all I heard was someone speaking like the teacher from Snoopy.  I couldn't decipher anything he was telling me - I was starting to became numb.  The doctor finished up and asked me to meet him in his office.

It was in that office where I was asked a question I have asked myself for most of my life:  Do you want to have children?    I thought it was a pretty odd question to start a conversation off with but I guess it's a fair question so I went into my whole shpeel.

So that's a good question doctor, and one I've asked myself over and over again.  Anyone who knows me can attest that I absolutely adore children.  I've babysat since the day I was old enough to babysit.   I'm the second oldest of a lot of kids and I've been around children my whole life but I've struggled with the thought of being a mom.  What if's play in my head every time I give it a thought.  So truth be told I've gone back and forth on the topic but yes, if God brought the right person into my life, I'd love to have children.

I saw the doctor's countenance change.  I was almost 38 and he knew I wasn't married so I don't think he was expecting that answer and now he had to tell me something I was not in my wildest dreams prepared for.

Ms Craft, while we were performing your exam we saw something that concerned us.
We've taken a sample for a biopsy and should have the results in a few days.
Additionally, and separately, I'm afraid you may never be able to have children.

 I sat there in silence.  It's now nearly 7pm, in a city where I had no family and very few friends and I began to feel a wetness on my cheeks. I touched my fingers to my face and realized I had began to cry and didn't even know it.   The doctor asked if I was ok? If there was someone he could call? If I was okay to drive home? If I would like some water?  Stop asking me questions that I can't answer.   It seemed like question after question was coming my way and I had lost my ability to speak.  It seemed like an eternity had passed but I'm quite certain it was only about 10 seconds.  The doctor seemed surprised this was the first time I was hearing about probable infertility.  Apparently it was something I was likely born with and doctor's should have found years if not decades earlier.  In their defense, one doctor - I don't know how many years ago - told me when I was ready to have children I should consult a specialist because I might have a hard time getting pregnant but no one mentioned the possibility I couldn't have children at all.

As I said, I had gone back and forth my whole life on whether or not I wanted children.  It was a hot topic in my marriage but ultimately I believed if I was meant to be a mom, it was in Gods hands.  As I look back over the last 2 1/2 years since I received this news I see God's promises holding me.   He has never left my side.  He has sheltered me through this life storm.  He has been my strong tower, never wavering.  And I'm not walking this road alone.

There are still days I grieve for that which I will never have but he's restoring me and putting a new song in my heart.  Maybe biological children aren't in my future but perhaps adoption is, if I'm able to find the right man of God that desires the same.   If not, perhaps it will be through grandchildren if God blesses me with a Godly man already with children.

Whatever God ultimately chooses for my life, I can say without hesitation or reservation

                   It is well, with my soul!

It's Time to Use The Good Stuff

Do you have some china given to you by your grandmother?  Did you receive china as a wedding gift but sits in a cabinet for a "special occasion?"

Have you ever defined a "special occasion?"  When was the last time you had a "special occasion" and used that china?  I venture to say it's likely been quite some time, if ever.

Tonight, there was no special occasion, no one joining me, no reason to celebrate..just a quiet Saturday night but I pulled out the nice stuff.

In my previous life, I never pulled out my china - never.  I had it for 5 years and not even once.   Then when life changed, I sold it.  Sold it brand new.   Through the years, while I have not acquired a new set of china, I have purchased some dinnerware that I really really love.   But even in all the time that I've had it, I've rarely used it.  So starting tonight...I'm using the good stuff.  

So what are you waiting for?   Why spend all that money to only have it sit in a cabinet?   Why register for it if you weren't going to use it?   

Order some pizza...make some peanut butter and jelly on the china dinner plate, pour a glass of milk in that crystal stemware and scoop some ice cream in the glass ice cream bowl.

Life is short...it's time to use the good stuff!

Jane the V*****

Have you seen the show Jane the Virgin?  No, I don't want to talk about a young lady who ended up pregnant even though she was a virgin.  Even though it was not the product of an immaculate conception but a mix-up between two medical procedures.  I want to share with you today about commitment, a vow, a promise.

Jane had been a virgin when she found out she was pregnant, and up until episode 19 she is still a virgin (haven't gotten past episode 19).   She has been tempted and she has considered breaking her vow to herself and to her grandmother but every time the thought has crossed her mind...she's reminded of her promise and reminded of her plan.   There are a lot of interesting undertones to this show but oddly enough, the strongest undertone I hear over and over again is that Jane is staying celibate until marriage.   A grown woman in the 21st century - saving herself for marriage.

I waited until marriage.   Yup....25 years old when I got married.   I married the first guy I ever kissed and the first guy I ever dated.  The person I thought I was supposed to be with for the rest of my life.   I never thought I would ever have to worry about dating, choices, celibacy again.  But fast forward 15 years...and I'm single.   I've realized it's time for me to renew my commitment.   Like that commitment I made all those years ago as a teenager as I wore my promise ring.  A constant reminder to myself and an opportunity for me to share with others what that ring meant.  

Are you single?  Are you searching for love in different places?   Are you making choices you never thought you'd make because you feel lonely?   Do you think that you're "in love" so it must be okay?  After all...you're a grown adult and can make you're own choices.  Besides,  you've been married before, what are you saving?   Will you ask yourself this?  Are you in love?  Or are you in love with idea of being in love?  

Friends...I am not perfect, far from it.  But I've heard God whispering that no matter where you've been, no matter how far you walked away from God's plan...you're never too far that you can't come back to Him.   He wants to restore you.   He wants to bring healing and restoration to your heart.   He wants you to find your self-worth in Him, and Him alone.   Not in some person.   People will let you down, but Jesus never will.  He wants you to commit your future relationships to Him.  Or maybe it's a current relationship.

I never thought I'd hear God speak through a television show but I guess  He can speak through whatever means necessary for us to hear Him.   What does God have to use to get your attention?   Will you trust Him with your heart today?

LET'S DANCE

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I do love me some dancing but usually it is on a quiet street or when I am all alone.  Ok -not always true.  Sometimes it's in the middle of the old city in Jerusalem or a Christmas market in Vienna or on the Las Vegas strip and often times it's with my arms stretched out wide, completely oblivious to all that is going on around me.  How about you?  When do you enjoy dancing?  Where is your favorite place to dance? What is your favorite type of dance?

Today I want to challenge you to participate in a different type of dance.  One I hope you will commit to and challenge yourself with over the coming weeks.

Years ago, almost seems like a different lifetime ago, I used to mentor high school young ladies.  It was one of the most rewarding and fulfilling things I have done in my life.  During one season of our mentoring/bible studies, I encouraged the young ladies to read this book by Connie Neal "Dancing in the Arms of God: Discover Your Cinderella Story."  This book impacted some young ladies in ways I have seen, and in some ways I have yet to see - but it changed lives.  I hoping it will do the same today all of the globe as it did so many years ago in a far away land called San Diego.

Are you waiting for your Prince or Princess?  Are you stressed about being single your whole life? Being single AGAIN?  Never having children?  Being an "old" parent?  Do you have thoughts like: Will anyone love me? Am I worthy of love?  This just might the book for you.  Can I tell you a secret?  I've read this book at least 4 times and this book is still for me.  Every once in a while I lose focus, I lose direction.  I ask God some hard questions,  but questions I've already asked and received answers for several times (okay, maybe several hundred times).  Sometimes...I'm just plain stubborn and I want to dig my heels in and argue with God and say I'm not dancing tonight.

He wants to invite you to the dance of your life.  He wants to be your date in the dance called "life". He wants to satisfy the deepest longings in your soul, and fill your sadness with joy.   He wants to bring you out of your loneliness and despair and give you a spirit of happiness.  He wants you to find your sole contentment in Him, and Him alone.  Only then will you find that you don't need someone else to complete you, to fill that void - because it won't be there anymore.  He wants to fill that hole in your heart, if you will let him.  But guess what?  He's not going to drag you to the dance.  He's not going to beg you to go to the  dance with him.  He's going to wait patiently, until you're ready because He wants you to come, excitedly; with expectation that great things are going to happen.  Here's the kicker - you don't even have to put on your finest gown/suit or get your hair and makeup done.  You don't have to have the sparkliest jewelry or the most expensive shoes; He wants you to come as you are, whatever that looks like today.  And today...you may look different than tomorrow, and ever more different the next day.  But He doesn't care because He will trade your ashes for beauty and when He's done - you'll be the most beautiful prince/princess in the room.

Journey with me!  Come see what this dance in the arms of God is all about.  I want to experience each chapter with you.  Whether there are 10 of you, or only 1...Jesus wants to speak to you. He wants to invite you to the dance.  Will you accept?

I've started from the beginning again and I hope some of you folks out in blog land will download this book and join me.  I want your thoughts, your raw emotions, your questions, your discoveries.  Let's share our experiences together and through those experiences draw nearer to Jesus.

WARNING:  The journey might be painful, it might be exhilarating, it might be life-changing, or it might just be life-saving.   I promise you one thing - if you journey with me through this book, you will not be the same person than you were before you began. 

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Those Who Are Weary

It was Wednesday this week and I was sitting at my desk at work.  I thought to myself how crazy it would be if I bought a ticket and flew to Beirut, Lebanon? It really was crazy because I had to get several approvals to go, find a cheap ticket, a cheap but safe hotel and a rental car in less than 48 hours.  But my mind, body and souls was telling me I needed to do it.

For those of you who don't know, I just left Beirut in April after two years of living there.   It was the best of times and there were some hard times.  But Beirut has always been my home away from home since my very first visit in 2006.  While the planning went smooth as silk, the execution once I landed in Beirut was a bit more challenging.  All in all it was a fantastic trip.   I got to meet up with some amazing friends and catch up on life.   I also got to take a deep breath of fresh Mediterranean air and enjoy an amazing view over breakfast this morning.

As I was sitting out listening to the waves crash against the rocks, smelled the salt water and reflected on my last six weeks in a new city, attempting to make new friends, get familiar with my new everyday work responsibilities, I was thankful for the rest.  Thankful for the peace and quiet, thankful for the opportunity to listen for His still small voice speaking over my life.  

Friends - I don't know what season of your life you are in but I do know some of you going through some pretty rough patches.   Sickness, separation, job uncertainty, rebellious child(ren), financial burdens, divorce, family disputes, difficult relationships, and the list goes on and on.   Listen to me friends, you are not alone! YOU are not alone!   You are not walking through this season, or any season for that matter, by yourself.   He is here, He is going before you, He is carrying you.   

I know there are times you think you can't feel Him or hear Him.   This weekend I didn't hear or feel Him but you know what happened?   I saw Him.   In the beauty of His people, in the majesty of my surroundings.  I was driving down the coastline and I was overwhelmed with thanksgiving!   I haven't felt very thankful lately but this weekend he reminded me to be thankful in all things, at all times! That's a difficult order to fill, I know!    And in your circumstance today it may seem like an impossible order - but I promise you, you won't regret it.  When you look back on the season you are walking through, You will see the hand of God.   You will wonder how you ever overcame that insurmountable circumstance and you will remember it was all because of Jesus. Rest in His arms tonight.  

He has placed such amazing people in my life at just the right moments.   Maybe life is going really well for you and you can't relate to what I just talked about.   Guess what?   This is for you too; be that blessing in someone else's life.   Be Jesus in the flesh to someone who needs to feel their Heavenly Father.  Extend an ear, step out of your comfort zone and wrap your arms around their neck, pray with them.  Let them find rest in you.   Be Jesus to them.  

Finally, be strong, take courage, do not be afraid.     The One who lives within you, will be strong in you today.   Find rest, listen for a His voice, and let someone bless you.   You are not alone.

Shiney on the outside, Rotting on the inside

I recently heard of a place that is fining their residents somewhere between $500-$1000 for dirty cars. They say it affects the aesthetic look of the location and could be a hazard to other vehicles if the wind kicks up and blows the dirt on  passing vehicles.   I don't care one way or another.   Definitely revenue building but not focusing on what's important.  What the vehicle is like under the hood?  Is it going to break down on the side of the road?  Is the engine in good working order?  We all know a vehicle cant run very long with a bad/worn out engine.

This made me think of the Christian walk. There are Christians who look the part and act the part - try to show the world they have it all together by going to church, socializing, maybe even attending Bible Study.  They are there every time the church doors are open, yet  forget about taking care of the most vital part of their existence: the heart.

Just as a car can't operate without a well oiled engine, so the Christian life can't function without a well oiled heart.   One that hides Gods word.   One that cares for the afflicted.  One that praises Him in the victories and the storms.   One that weeps with those facing loss and devastation.  One that longs after the Father.   Not one who pretends and puts on the appearance of a perfect person.

You know what I've experienced?    Perfect people (or the belief that one is perfect) have so much further to fall.  And they will fall.   Not one of us is without sin.   We may work really hard at covering it up, but guess what?   It's still there.   Just because you hide it doesn't mean it goes away.   It actually means it will resurface when you least need/want it to.  And the devastation of its revealing at a date and time not of your choosing tends to do much more damage then if you had just told the car buyer from the beginning there were a few mechanical issues but nothing a little tlc couldn't fix.  

I remember when I was striving to be perfect.   Doing anything and nothing that  put off even the very appearance of sin or evil.   I remember someone telling me they thought I was protected.   That God had His hand over my life in such a way that nothing could touch me. I think this could be true for all His children but if you don't maintenance that Christian walk...the heart will begin to fail and sin or guck will enter the pciture.  Once I went off to college, Christian college mind you, even though I was taking Bible classes and on the praise team, I wasn't intentionally hiding His word in my heart.   I wasn't oiling my heart. I wasn't performing the regular maintenance checks.   I was in church because our traveling team would sing in churches nearly every Sunday,  I taught kids choir and interned in youth ministries;  I was talking the talk but I was barely walking the walk.

When I got married I thought life would be perfect because perfect people have perfect marriages.  After all, I had done it the right way.  I waited for marriage.  My husband was the first guy I ever kissed.  What could go wrong?   Well lots of things and we'll get to some of those another day but the meat of it was that we were not connected to a body of believers.   We were not plugged into a church, we were not oiling the engine of our marriage.   We let the desires of the world destroy us piece by piece and it was a slow painful death.

As I look back on it now, we had friends that reached out and tried to help us but they were on the other side of the country.  When we finally realize we needed help, we had one of the best marriage counselors our church could offer but quite frankly-it was too late.  I read all the books but we weren't reading THE Book on a consistent basis.  Friends, you must saturate your life with Jesus.  He alone is the One that can make the inside beauty match the outside beauty, and dare I say make the inside beauty more beautiful than your outside beauty.

Beauty will fade.  As we get older, those grey hairs and wrinkles will creep their way to the surface, no matter how you attempt to cover them up.  But your heart, your soul - if you focus on taking care of them...you'll always be the most beautiful person in the room.    It will be quite clear that you are the complete package -well oiled and taken care of  dents, scratches,  chipped paint and all. But that's what makes you the authentic.  Not perfect, restored!

I LOVE YOU AND THAT'S THAT

The Christmas before or after I turned 16 (I have a terrible memory) my momma gave me this framed art.  10 years later, ahem 20 years later, lets just say a lot of years later, I still have this framed art.   It has been packed and unpacked more times than I know.   It's been in a storage unit for two years, or maybe it was three.  Regardless of where it's been, how it's been displayed, or how much dust it has collected...the words ring just as true today as they did all those years ago.

My momma had no idea the impact these words would have on me throughout my life.

I'm a pretty guarded person.  I don't have a lot of friends, but the ones I have are my friends for life.   There is nothing they could say or do that would cause me to sever ties.   Time and distance may mean we go a decade without seeing one another but when the day comes and we do see each other, it literally feels like it was only yesterday that we last talked.

My friendships are not perfect but there has never been a rift that God has not been able to mend.  Two of my longest, deepest friendships both went through intense periods of silence.  I didn't think our friendships would ever be restored.  But there came  a time where we swallowed our pride, we reached out and we asked for forgiveness. And this was before social media folks...we used the telephone.  All these years later, we are still the dearest friends.   We still don't see eye to eye on everything but we love each other despite our differences and faults (theirs, not mine) and respect each other's opinions enough to have wonderful friendships (and lively discussions).

Unknowingly, I've used this saying as a motto in life.   No matter what I find out about you...no matter what happens in the future...my commitment is to love you.

This is an example of the most perfect love and friendship.  The one with our Heavenly Father.  He loves you!   No matter what you've done, no matter what happens in the future.  He loves you.   He'll carry your burdens, He'll help you up when you fall, He'll pray with you. You don't have to respond or love Him back. He loves you and that's that!   Who has ever loved you like that?   Pure, unadulterated, unconditional love!   No one but Jesus! I still fall short in my friendships but Jesus never will.  When you feel like you can't reach out to anyone else in this world, He's there -waiting - with His arms open wide  - ready to embrace you and love you with a love you've never known.   A perfect love!

40 and SINGLE

I wonder what her deal is?

He's not totally ugly, he must ave "issues"

I bet she's insecure - guys don't like insecure

When you walk by, do you think people are whispering these words about you? Or thinking them in their head as you show up for another football game, swim meet or Christmas party alone?.  

News Flash:   Most people are so stuck on themselves they don't have the energy to worry about you and your relationship status...and if they are talking about YOUR relationship status, 8 times out of 10 they're using your situation to deflect conversation from their own situation.  

I've been listening to a lot of Elevation Music and their album "There is a Cloud"    POWERFUL!   I don't want to spoil it for you but it's life changing.  

For just 6:41 minutes list to "Do it Again" or go to iTunes and listen to the sample.

As I listen to this,  I am reminded....He has never failed me yet!    He's not failed you either and He never will.   You may wonder why he's left you single for _  days, weeks, months, years, decades (fill in the blank). Why he found love again so quickly or why she is already remarried.  For me...it'll be 10 years in December since my divorce was final.   TEN years....that's twice as long as I was married.   He's already remarried and has two children.   But you know what I cling to?  His promise that He will move mountains and that He will make a way when there is no way because He is faithful!      I am still in His hands just as much as I was the day my ex-husband filed for divorce, the very day before I was supposed to get on a plane for Afghanistan.  He's the same God...and He's still faithful.     He has NEVER failed me....not even once.

That doesn't mean there are days that I'm not lonely and I don't throw a pity party for myself because I don't have someone to snuggle up to as I fall asleep.   It means that He knows my heart.  He knows what my heart can and can't handle.   We can all find companionship.  There are plenty of guys and gals out there just looking for a good time - a fun night, weekend, week, month, season. But my Jesus knows my heart longs for so much more or nothing at all.

Friends - don't settle.   You deserve to be treated as the kings and queens, princes and princesses that you are.   Not a one night stand.  Not a fling.  You deserve the royal treatment, as if you were the only person in the room as your partner in life walks in, as every other face is blurred (like my best friend Becca can do with just a turn of a camera lens) by the beauty of the two of you.   Something only Jesus can do.

Are you trusting Him?.   Are you asking Him for wisdom and strength to overcome the temptations all around you?  Do you believe you are worth it? Worth being treated better than you have ever been treated before?  

Tonight - won't you rest in His promise?   He's never failed you yet. Even when it felt like He had.  For me...when I looked back over that fateful day under calmer circumstances I realized He has walking every step with me...and when the weight of the circumstance was more than I could bear Jesus steered that car down the mountain for me. What was it for you?  What did He do for you when you couldn't do it on your own?    Remember, it was Jesus carrying you through, nothing and no one else.   He's never failed you yet!   And He never will.

I struggled/wrestled with God  for a week about writing this post.  Why?   Because I didn't think I was qualified to write this post.   But as I've read many comments from men and women who Are struggling with their singleness, I was awakened to the thought that no one is qualified, we just have to be willing to let Jesus speak through us.   So...I'm doing my best to listen to His still small voice and share what I'm learning.   It may mean something to you, it may mean nothing but I hope it gives you even just a glimmer of hope.   God bless you sweet friends.   He is more than enough!